Friday 8 April 2011

Shayne's Day #18 - The one with the mythical creature

DRUM ROLL PLEASE....I got a cell phone. I know, I know...your jaws are on the floor and you are in shock. Take a minute and recover before you read on.

If you are reading this, it means you have gathered yourself from the shock of 2011! Yes, this is a true story. Anna (God love her!) let me use her old phone and they were able to set it up with a sim card. I have 30 pounds worth of time and 300 free international minutes. WOO HOO!!!! I got to hear my mom's voice yesterday and it was heavenly. It definitely made me feel like we were still in SD and didn't have an ocean between us. Sim card - I love you.

So, once I got this set up I headed to Keston to use the internet real quick. I arrived at the pub/wine bar before it was open and the people working recognized me at the door :) They opened the place for me, let me sit at my table, and gave me a free cappuccino. They didn't have to ask what I wanted and they didn't charge me because it was before opening hours. A few thoughts ran through my head: 1) You know you are no longer a tourist when they open a bar for you, know your drink, and give it to you for free! 2) I drink too much coffee. 3) It's their fault I am here everyday - they are just too nice! Either way, I was thrilled and happy and got to connect with you all, the movers, and my students. Happy, happy day!
Sidenote: While at Keston, I noticed that their music choice for the morning was "Holiday Hits." I got to email and blog while listening to Jack Skeleton's "Happy Halloween," a techno rendition of the "Nutcracker - Waltz of the Flowers," and "American Girl" ( I think this must have been a shout out to Memorial Day or something! - Do they have that holiday here?)

After Keston, I headed home and finished deep cleaning our house. It was a big day. All of the kitchen appliances, the floors, the heating units, and counter tops. To celebrate, I walked to my favorite market here, M&S, and purchased 'Re-Heat' dinner items for the night. We can't cook because we don't have pans yet, but I found some stuff that just required being placed in the oven. So, with the house clean and a celebration in order, Jake headed home for our first official at-home date night in London!

He walked in the door with flowers (love him!) and a baguette (now that we have cell phones I could call him and have him grab one on the way home!!!). We had some Champagne and apps in the living room, caught up about the day and started dinner. While I peeled back the plastic cellophane and stuck the stuff in the oven, he set the table with our tiny plastic silverware and we put the flowers into a 'Sugar' canister! Yes - I look photos - this needed to be remembered! Dinner was great and the Whole Foods of London did not let me down. After dinner we retired to the living room to have a glass of wine and desert. I was heading back from the kitchen with our egg-custard tarts (Note - these will NOT be repurchased) and saw an ominous black patch on our wall by the front door. As I got closer, I realized it was an incredibly large spider.

So, I am walking over to it and almost fall over, this thing is HUGE! I calmly let Jake know there is a GINORMOUS spider on the wall and ask him to come over. Jake doesn't really do spiders very well and I think he was anticipating my usual 'HUGE' spider title which - I must admit - is a spider no larger than a dime with legs and all. So, the Jakester rounds the bend to see the spectacle and jumps back in alarm. "WHOA," he yells, "Thats a big spider!!!" Let me reiterate here that this is not a normal bug. For our SD friends, this was the kind of spider that comes out in the summer time and creates massive, intricate webs in the trees. Yes, that half-dollar sized creature was IN our house. Jake and I get closer and, I swear on my life, I could see hair on its back, 100 little eyes, and giant teeth. Jake - the spider hunter that he is - grabs his Rainbow and proceeds to beat the living crap out of this thing. I know that secretly in his head, he is screaming like a 5 year old. Then he goes to sit back down, clearly shaken up. I am still standing in the hall with the egg-tarts gawking at this scene and ask him, "Aren't you going to wipe him off the wall!" He says, "NO! I need to let him crust over before I touch him." So we sit down in silence and each stare into space for a long 2 minutes. This was clearly quite the traumatic event. Finally, I break the tension and ask, "Did you SEE that spider's talons?!?" Jake looks at me and very seriously snaps, "I really wish you would stop calling that thing a spider. That was clearly a mythical creature from a Harry Potter movie."

Lessons Learned: Don't attempt to try an egg-tart for the first time after beating a mythical creature to bloody pulp on your wall. I need to remind myself of Margaret's mantra: "You have to try everything twice to honestly say you gave it a chance." We'll see.

5 comments:

  1. Way to go Jake, protecting your wife in the midst of a "bloody killer creature". The great white hunter lives in UK. Although when you tell us he used his Rainbow, I almost wondered it was Shayne he slapped against the wall!! LOL Only to realize it was his flip-flop!!! And yes everyone hearing Shaynes sweet voice I momentarily forgot about that big ocean too!!!

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  2. Thanks for the laugh out loud moment! We miss you!

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  3. Oh, to hear these stories are so enjoyable. While catching up it made reflect on a not so famous, but a really incredible bar in Paxton, NE. If you're ever there go to Ole's Steakhouse & Lounge. Of course, world travelers like yourself may never venture into the vast openness of nowhere Nebraska...but this place has more wild game trophies packed into a small bar than you can imagine...even elephant feet for stools!

    http://www.olesbiggame.com

    Glad to hear you're back in the game with a smart phone, well maybe a cell phone for now. Thank goodness for good ol' email and Skype! Heaven forbid a written letter! (did get the card you sent CJ, but someone read it before we did!) Remember to keep us in your prayers as we have another road warrier ready to trek out on his own, yikes!

    I'm not an interior designer, but do spiders make a great wall decoration?

    Lastly, speaking of holidays: (I checked, and England doesn't have Memorial Day, but you're gonna love the bank holidays. Be careful cuz Wales and Ireland have different ones than England, but hey, enjoy 'em all!)

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  4. You guys are too much! I love these stories... BUT I want PICTURES!!!!! You said you've been taking them, so post them already! :) XOXO

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