Thursday 21 July 2011

Day #123: The one with the Shuttle Cock

This week, I have been filling in for our office secretary at school. I was told that I should bring a book because I basically would be answering the phones and getting the mail. I thought, "I am going to get paid to check the mail? Awesome!" Turns out, the secretary left on holiday and decided to leave me the most annoying job in the entire world.

That's right all you fellow teachers, I am unpacking, checking in, and distributing ALL of next year's school supplies!

Let me just add here as a sidenote (PS: the names and places have been changed to protect the innocent) that I have a new respect for the amazing lady, Marharian, who is in charge of this task at Cage Sanyon. Shout out to you - you are incredible!

Dear Journal:

Monday - July 18, 2011
The first day was the hardest because all of the boxes had been stockpiled as they awaited my arrival. Day #1 consisted of 63 boxes, 492 glue sticks, 9 missing orders, and about 20 phone calls to the respective shipping offices. I was just getting my feet wet folks.

Tuesday - July 19, 2011
The second day was a bit better. Only 52 boxes; however, the markers arrived. They were organized by COLOR - not by set, not by teacher. Therefore, I had the pleasurable job of making 108 (0h yes, one for each child) rainbow packs from one box of red, one from orange, one from yellow...are you with me!?! Classic UK - who would ship items like that!?! I will tell you who - General Learning Supplies Company. Instead of having a think-tank of problem solvers, they probably send their employees home by 15:00 so they don't miss happy hour at their Local (pub that is!).

Wednesday - July 20, 2011
The third day was smooth sailing. I had completed the boxes in the hallway of hell and was down to just checking in boxes as they arrived - now THAT is what you call an efficient American worker! I had established all of our contacts at each supply company, spoken to them, and when an order was faulty, could call and ask for them by name.

Thursday - July 21, 2011
Now, here I am on Thursday. All caught up, sipping coffee, and blogging. Confession, I hacked into our neighbor's wireless internet to make this happen.

Love, Shayne

I know it's only Thursday, but I have really learned a lot this week. A plethora of experience and new knowledge has come my way. I would hate to deprive you of the life lessons I have learned.

Please enjoy:

1. File folders, rainbow tabs, a table of contents, and cross-references go a long way when organizing order forms, shipment details, and invoice paperwork. Shout out to Kristyn Braund for showing me the joys of a rainbow tab system and Monica Geller, the cross reference queen (just watch the first 3 minutes of that video - it's all you need!).








2. Per the sticky label on the outside of box # 5 of 27, "Scissors have sharp blades." Thank you TTS School Supplies!

3. The delivery men from the TNT shipping company in the UK could use a bit more on-the-job training. My conversation yesterday with Corey, the TNT employee, follows:
Corey: Hi, am here to pick up a package.
Shayne: Yup, I have it right here! The address label is all filled out and the shipment has been prepaid.
Corey: Great! Do you know the address it's going to?
Shayne: Well, it's the one written on the label I just showed you.
Corey: Oh, I see. Is this box being returned?
Shayne: Yes, the company sent the wrong item, so we are sending it back.
Corey: Hmmm, ok. Do you know how I am supposed to do that?
Shayne: Well, I filled everything out. I think you take it from here.
Corey: Yeah, I am not too sure what I am supposed to do. You don't know how to do it?

4. They make shatter-free rulers.
Seriously! Where were these when I was teaching art? These bad boys could have helped me avoid the blood, carved tables, and ruined pencils each year when the kids discovered new and exciting ways to use a common classroom item as their weapon of choice. Think rulers are safe? Think again!
Each year, I needed to start drawing lessons with the following schpeel...
"Rulers are for drawing a straight line. You will not use them to play 'Rock Band' on the edge of your table (AKA - poking your eye out! Notice the sunglasses in the video!). You will not put them on the tip of your pencil and spin them around like a helicopter (AKA - slicing open your forehead). You will not use them to fling paper balls at the ceiling (AKA - Oops! I missed and my ruler went flying across the room!). You will not use them to have a sword fight with your friend (AKA - 'accidentally' whacking the person across from you). And finally, you will not pick the metal strips out of the side and use the rusty, razor sharp piece of scrap metal to clean out your fingernails, scratch the person next to you, or brand yourself (AKA - DA!) (Also AKA - Noma Pride - Keith's, that one's for you!)."
Shatter-proof rulers...genius!

5. And the most amazing lesson of the week: Badminton Birdies are called Shuttle Cocks in the UK. Yes, you heard correctly. When unpacking the PE box, I couldn't figure out what a Shuttle Cock was! When I found out, I couldn't help myself:
"Hey, have you seen that rubber-tipped Shuttle Cock?"
"Whack that Shuttle Cock over here!"
"How far can you project your Shuttle Cock?"
"When serving, make sure to arch your Shuttle Cock."
"My Shuttle Cock broke!"
"Oh no, my Shuttle Cock is stuck in that net!"
Yes, I realize I am horrible and probably going to teacher hell.

1 comment:

  1. It's so funny to think that Seamus was totally that kid who would have used the rusty metal to brand himself. At least now you know there's hope for some of your little trouble makers!

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